It has recently come to my attention, or rather, hit me in the face like a football shot from a cannon, that I sometimes become more elitist than a Blood Elf on crack. I mean Bloodthistle...
I hadn't really noticed up until a few days ago. No wait, I had noticed but pretended it wasn't me and put it back in the box telling myself I wasn't doing it on purpose. Once in a while, when faced with situations that can potentially make me come across as smart, funny, helpful or knowledgeable, I pop into elitist mode.
Everything I say and do comes out as cocky, I brag about everything and I give advice where it's not needed with a hint of sarcasm and patronizing condescension.
Now let me just start by saying I don't mean to come across as rude, nor do I wish to make anyone feel inferior or dumb. My theory on this, and I've no idea if it's right or just me making excuses again, is that it's because of my environment and upbringing.
See, I'm told that I have to be proud of what I can do and what I know, but not all the time. Only when it is appropriate to mention it, or when it can be of help. I'm not all that good at anything really so when there is something I know I can help out with or provide information on, I jump on it like crazy.
And that's when it usually goes too far.... People don't always want that or appreciate that and on more than one occasion it hurt people's feelings.
I'm not allowed to say sorry for things I didn't intentionally do but...I'm sorry! I get so caught up in my moment of pride, of thinking 'hey! I know something about this, I'd like to let people know I do!' that it all just kinda flies forward at too fast a speed.
Another thing to work on in the never-ending process of building the suitable me. Not that I'm not suitable already, I know at least one person who thinks I'm plenty suitable already and I love her to bits, not in the least for bringing the above flaw to my attention.
Speaking of which, at the time of writing I only have to wait 13 more days to see her again! 13 being my lucky number but not so much this time, wish it was only 1 day or, even better, 1 hour. Doesn't matter though, I'm thrilled she's chosen to come back to me and spend 8 days here so we can enjoy each other again.
And enjoy we will. People who've known me a bit longer will no doubt see that I'm holding back not to put forth profanity and sexual innuendo coupled with graphic imagery that would make Charlie Sheen look like the Pope.
Yes, I'm deeply in love with my Johanna and it's no secret that I love her sharp mind as much as I do her luscious body. Mmmmh...yeah.....*drools*
Right, 13 more days, can't wait!
2 June 2011
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