Midnight Philosophies and Thoughts Unending

'You think too much' is what I hear all too often from my friends and loved ones. A strange thing to say in a way, how is thinking bad? Over-thinking, perhaps, though I'm pretty sure that's what they mean by it anyways. I'd like to share one of these 'over-thoughts' with you for the sole reason that I'd like to write one down for a change.

I saw a movie today, with my best friend Tim, called 'Into the Wild'. Without going too deep into this 143 minute movie, I'll give you a broad overview of the story.

Guy is 'unhappy' with his life. He graduated from college because his parents and society expect it from him, he seem normal on the outside but he's not due to things from his past and his family life. He decides to leave. Not just his home but everything. He become a tramp, a drifter. His final goal is to arrive in Alaska, in the wild, to be alone and think about all the philosophical things he read in his books during his tween life.
On the way, he meets different kinds of people, some teach him things, some he teaches things. An aging hippie couple that lost their son, a teenage girl with a brain but no future, an elderly man that has given up hope, a scamming but goodhearted farmer, a Danish couple on a road trip. They all experience truly happy moments with the guy but he leaves them to head to his final goal.

Once there, he lives in the wild for some months, his journey haven taken him away from home for almost 2 years now. He tries to live off the wild and marginally succeeds and the tranquility gives him the peace he wants. On his last day, on earth it turns out, he discovers he's been living off of a poisonous root for some weeks which eventually gives him delusions and having weakened and starved him to the extent he can't go for help anymore. Moments before he takes his final breath, he laments his 'happiness', having found out through his journey that "happiness isn't real unless it's shared".

Food for thought you might say... And so it is for me. What is happiness, why do people have it and need it. Tying into that age old question 'why are we here' or more specifically, why am I here...

In the 10 minutes it took me ride home from my friend on my bike, this is what I figured:

Am I here to make myself happy? That can't be it. If my only purpose was to make myself happy, than I am a sort of contradiction. If I live to make only myself happy, than me not living wouldn't make a difference. Because, if I don't live, I don't have to make myself happy so there's no reason for me to live. So that can't be it.

Am I here then, to make someone else happy? That would mean the only reason for living would be to find someone else that is happy when I'm there. So if I didn't find that someone, that would mean both me and that other person were alive for no reason since that other person must live to make me happy. Even better, what if only one person made the other happy and not the other way around? Would one person be unnecessary? Only being there to validate the other's life? Meh..that can't be it...

So it must be a combination of those two. We are here to find happiness, not just for ourselves but for others as well. There is after all no way to be happy with someone or be the happiness in someone's life if you are not happy with yourself. On the flip-side, only making yourself happy serves no purpose. You wouldn't serve a purpose.

What I'm basically saying is, find happiness where you can. Don't try to find it far away, reaching for an impossible goal or hoping for something to come that will make it happen. Recognize it when it's right there in front of you, grab it with both hands, don't question but embrace it.

In the end, where happiness comes from doesn't matter. All that matters is that you have found it and it has found you. Don't let it slip away...