Of Assholes, Comics and Sex

This title preeetty much sums up yesterday for me. 3 keywords that influenced Sunday and my general mood (which was overall positive by the way).

Let's start with assholes shall we... They come in many shapes and sizes, and they are everywhere. I never let them get to me but this particular one hit me where it hurt: my friends. Now I'm not gonna name names or give you every detail of the situation. The person(s) involved will no doubt already know what I'm referencing to. To make a long story short: I was having a great time ingame last night with some good friends in our WoW channel. Everyone joined me in some innocent debauchery and generally pervy jokes that I'd like to call entertainment. Nothing serious even, one might actually say way over the top. I'm not sure what spurned this person's reaction, my attitude and liberal use of sexual innuendo or some other person's willing involvement but that person totally overreacted, causing deliberate discomfort and maybe even pain to one of my friends.

Now I am not one to look to deep into this kinda stuff, it's even happened to me before, but somehow I can't look at this person the same ever again. There are limits to what I can overlook and a pissed off Sav will hold a grudge for a fairly long time. To the others involved it's something that's in the past and even resolved so I won't bring it up again. Just know that some stuff you will remember for a long time.

Second issue on the agenda: comics! Yay, I love me some good comics, especially webcomics. A few days ago a friend linked me to this one: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1 It's called 'Questionable Content', a comic that is up to about 1500 something pages already. For someone who doesn't know me, it's a quite accurate depiction of my life. A guy, with nothing going on in his life, low self-esteem and girl issues, and his struggles with the real world. Also included are 'girl he likes but can't say anything to', 'girl that likes him but is put off by his issues', 'best friend who's better at everything' and 'large circle of female friends that he either liked but couldn't act upon his feelings with or who liked him but airdropped him into the friend-zone'. Imagine my surprise when I started reading. The past 2 days I've been reading this comic, to the point of obsession. Hours upon hours do I flick through the pages, recognizing myself in every one of them. This to the point where I start to have actual emotions for and with the characters which is kinda disturbing.

Example: The main character's love interest of the past hooked up the brother of his current girlfriend for casual sex. Now when this happened I literally thought 'oh my god, how can she do that after just turning (the main character) down. How low is that, I hope she gets yelled at by everyone'. Not until a few minutes later did I realize that I was actually ripping on a fictional character. Why you say? I answer with 'projected emotions'. Yes, I was identifying with the main character so much, that I (almost?) thought it was me. I reacted as would've reacted in real life to the same situation. Is it weird or even disturbing? You tell me...

Last topic for this post: Sex. Yes, I know, sex again....can you honestly blame me here? If you've read the essay from my first post (and you bloody well should have!) than you know of my issues with this particular thing. It's related to the second topic slightly, I'll explain how. You see, as much as I relate to the character in this comic, he ends up with someone in an actual relationship. Now I could see this from 2 viewpoints: 1) My life will go there eventually, it's just a matter of time, 2) The comic went from realistic to total fiction at that point, it'll never happen.

Seeing that guy who is like me in so many ways he might as well be called Sav get laid, not graphically but certainly often, was kinda uncomfortable. Of all the issues in my life, this is no doubt the greatest one. It's also one that literally none of my friends can actually help with. My 2 best friends are guys and I don't swing that way. All the rest isn't interested in even thinking about me that way so that's not even somewhere I'll go with my head.

Someone said to me once 'Your first time should be special, and with someone you love'. Now this statement has been twirling round and round in my head ever since then. Yes, it should be totally true. Special and Love are the key words in that sentence. I've discussed it, and it's repercussions with my friends and we ended up agreeing for an hour that it might be ideal but not realistic. It being special is a non-issue, the first time is always special, no matter how much you fuck up or how crap it was. It'll still be the first time. That brings us to the issue of Love. Do you have to love someone to have sex with them? Is it better when you do? Can you do it without loving someone? The answers to this question are dripping with Western morale and standards. In this day and age, people in a relationship end up having sex waaaay before you can begin to speak of love. It's more like lust at that point in time. Is that a bad thing? Not in my eyes, and not in the eyes of most people I'm betting.

Yet, if this is the standard, then how the hell am I supposed to live up to that? Wait until I actually love someone? What if she doesn't want to wait? What if I don't either? What if I'm waiting for something that doesn't exist and I end up doing nothing at all?
Those are some of the things on my mind when I let it run rampant. And again, can you really blame me for it? Are any of you even remotely in the same position? Let me know how you feel about this particular subject in the comment section. (No need to register, I've enabled anonymous commentary.)


Well folks, that's all for this post. Hope I didn't ramble on too long and that it made some kind of sense. See y'all next time!



Sav