...these peaks and valleys are beginning to take their toll.
The first line of the song that perfectly describes my life. For over 5 years now, I've been listening to it on and off. Mostly when the 'valleys' hit me like trucks. So I've not told a lot of people but...there is indeed something chemically wrong with me so as to cause these fluctuations. They hit whenever, unexpected and hard, sometimes one after another.
The extreme high, the lowest low. Mr. BPD as I like to call it, comes 'a knocking frequently and at the least opportune moments.
Insecurity, doubt, fear, anxiety, pride, jealousy, withdrawn behavior, they are all part of it.
Maybe saying no to medication was a mistake after all....
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I kinda guessed this a long time ago, back when we chatted through the night when I was waiting at the railway station. Figured it wasn't something you talked about.
ReplyDeleteYou can always visit your doc and just have another chat about the pros and cons of meds, it's not a irreversible choice :)
My doc doesn't know either, nor do my parents actually. I've really only told a few people about what exactly it is. But I still don't think I want zombie-pills >.<
ReplyDeleteI'd rather feel crap than feel nothing at all...