A Little Taste of Heaven

The hardest part of loving someone, is saying goodbye when they need to leave. I'm not afraid to admit I cried like a little baby when I saw her go through customs on the way to her gate. And in a way, it's a good thing. It strongly reassures that these feelings I have, we have, are real and strong.

But let me start at the beginning.
On Friday I got up pretty early, it's quite a trip to the airport and since I wouldn't be home again I had to drag 10 kilos of holiday packing with me everywhere. The closer I got, the more nervous too but in a good way. I knew it'd all melt away like snow under the sun when I saw her.

Her plane landed early so I rushed to the gate but nothing yet...I got even more nervous and excited as well. After a 20 minute wait, there she was. My angel from heaven. I sped towards her and we tightly embraced each other, the rest went naturally. Our first kiss, that look into each others eyes, walking hand in hand to the train station.

The days after that were purely filled with joy. The resort was amazing, in the middle of the forest and sheltered from the outside world. There was so much to do and we were never bored. We spent every single second with each other, walking about the park, dabbling in the water, relaxing on the beach, hugging in the shadows of the trees, swimming in the tropical pool, baking in the tan booth, grilling meat on our porch while enjoying some good beer and music, watching FMA on the flatscreen while in bed, eating breakfast that we cooked ourselves, participating in the live entertainment, choosing the finest meals at any of the restaurants we had there, having our special JoRo ice-cream in a thunderstorm.

It was....amazing....There are no words to describe how perfect it was. The days flew by and before we knew it, we were at my place for another day or so. Shopping for stuff to make fresh guacamole, watching horror movies in each others arms, talking a long walk around the country side, picnic with ice-cream at a secret and secluded romantic location.

Too much to do and too little time. On Tuesday evening, we headed to the airport again with heavy hearts, knowing we'd have to say goodbye there for the time being. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, take my arms from around her and let her go. Neither of us wanted it to end, we'd rather have stayed together for ever and always.

We both know we'll have to wait a while to be with each other again but we also know it will happen. In the summer, I will go to Sweden and spend more incredible days with her. Until then, we have Skype and we'll be on it every time we can. Work, school, friends, they will take some time away from us but we will always have each other.
In bed, a pillow with her perfume will have to do for now. It's no replacement for her soft, warm skin, sexy curves or the feeling of her and me being intimate (which was...my god, so amazing and fantastic), though nothing but the real thing will ever be good enough now.

This is as much as I can fit into a post at the moment, no doubt you'll be hearing more from me soon.


My Johanna, for ever and always, you and me against the world baby! I love you so much!

And all was quiet

It's been a while since the last update and not just from me! Where is everyone *gasp*

Anyways, the reason for the slow updates is....because it's going well. Usually I used this blog to whine about everything that was wrong and bad but that's really not needed anymore.

The past 2 months have been the best ever, everything seems to be going right. Even the things that almost seem to go wrong, I somehow make right with determination and willpower, supported by my love. Or as she like to phrase it, 'behind every successful man stands a strong, loving woman'.

It's been nearly 2 months we've been together now and we're as much in love as we were then, every day it increases more and more. In a few days time she'll come over here by plane and I'll steal her away to a place of romance and affection. The plan to stay here at my place wasn't feasible so instead we'll be going to a luxury resort for the duration of her visit for privacy and plenty time to...get to know each other *grins* After that we'll spend one more night with the family so I can show her around town and we can cook up some yummies.

On the professional side things are flying as well. I passed the 3rd of my in total 4 exams of the year with ease, making me eligible for the 2nd year right away as I've scored the needed amount of points up to the maximum you can get already.

All in all everything is going at a fast but nonetheless relaxing pace, all thanks to the one that completes my life finally. The one that makes everything worthwhile. The one that I took 24 years to find but that is finally mine.

Johanna, my heart <3

What goes around, comes around

It's been almost a month now, a month of total bliss. Not a single thing wrong and that's truly a first for me. It all feels as close to perfect as it can get and I know that this feeling will last for years to come.

She's all I ever asked for. Nice, understanding, strong-willed, slightly stubborn, caring, funny, intelligent, with great taste in music, movies and humor.
On top of all that, she's so incredibly attractive. Her smile, her laugh, her giggle, her amazing body, those sexy lips and stunning eyes.

Yes, yes...I know...too mushy. I've become one of those people I used to dislike so much. Not that I care, I only felt like that because I wanted what they had. And now I do.

Only a few more weeks before she comes over to visit me, 3 days of bliss. Filled with hugging, cuddling, talking, eating, drinking, walking, being out and of course...

In other news: my best friend 'broke up' with his girlfriend of 1.5 years...by phone. My other best friend is still not out of the closet and the third is basically being operated on 24/7 and living with her deranged mother.

Who'd have thought I'd ever be the one best off? Certainly not me.

School is going well, actually enjoying it now because I have a purpose: graduate asap and make the best of my degree. 3rd semester is close to ending and if I pass my exam then I'm home free for the first year. Only 3 more after that, which is bearable.

There's some people now reading this that could either use some support or a slap in the face (you know who you are). You all know where to find me, I'm not gone just busy. But never too busy for my friends.
Poke me!


Sav.

Mind Tricks

Is my head really this screwed up that it cannot comprehend that good stuff can happen? Why does it keep on insisting there's a catch to everything. Why does every word and sentence need to be dissected for hidden clues and underlying thoughts.

Maybe it's my overly cautious nature, maybe it's past experiences that left their deep deep scars. Sometimes, I just wish I could shut down my brain because it's not helping out in any way.

Hope, the word that means everything. Without hope, there is no future, nothing to hold onto, nothing to look forward to. Just a blank space and actions that are taken in vain.

Shape up Sav...

Madly in love...with you!

I always knew you were special, but I never could have guessed just how special...

It happened so fast as well. Just last week we really got back in touch after almost a year of blog comments and the occasional hug ingame and we connected like we'd known each other for ages.
Days flew by as we sat in front of our computers (or behind them), talking on Skype for hours until the sun almost rose again.
It didn't matter we had school or work or other obligations, we had a great time. And then the butterflies came, filling me up inside and making my smile bigger every single time we laughed and enjoyed ourselves, ingame or otherwise.
I fell in love..completely, utterly, totally, truly, madly, deeply. Last night, when the timing was right, I shared this with you and almost as if there was no other answer, you told me it had been the same for you. Instantly making me the the happiest, giddiest guy on Earth.

Our minds are so alike, not just in the dirtiness-factor but in the way we see things and the way we want things to be. Similar interests, similar tastes, similar desires. No subject will phase us, from our plans to be together now to plans about the future.

I can't wait to be with you. When our schedules collide and work and school don't mix, I miss the sound of your voice, your laughter, everything about you, and I wait until you get back again. If I could, I would have been on the plane yesterday, but some things make that impossible. Things that will be easily solved on both sides so we can spend all the time together that we could wish for and it will be amazing.

Until then, I will wish you good night every time I log off and kiss you good morning every time I log back on. Because you make me the happiest guy in the world and because I believe you deserve the best. Which I will give you, from the bottom of my heart and deepest depths of my soul.

My girl, my woman, my Johanna. This is for you.

(Spotify link for if Youtube won't let you see it.
http://open.spotify.com/track/24lMtPOCzP5g4hrg3NklLa)

Early in the morning

I arrived 30 minutes early for classes again, as usual. The buses run a once-an-hour schedule so it really can't be helped. It does however, give me some time to write stuff before my classmates arrive and the day officially starts.

Just wanted to post something I wrote a while ago but I realized I'd already posted it before. It was as applicable now as it was then, though I won't re-post it for the same reason as I posted it back then.
On my way to see if I had posted it before, I came across some post from late last year, reminding me once more just what exactly happened, why and how. It's quite funny to see the ups and downs and even the realization that I knew something was wrong before it even began.

But that's over now, things are looking up! Especially the past week I've been feeling more perky than I have in a while and it's because I found a reason to be feeling like that. Someone that makes me feel all happy and giddy inside.

My silent wish to get to know you better came true, faster and in more ways than I could have imagined. We're having a great time and we'll be having plenty more if it's up to me. Thanks for brightening my days and for letting me brighten up yours. I never thought I'd be sitting up until halfway through the morning, chatting and laughing again.
Always has hope been important but now I feel like a part of the promise has been fulfilled already.

I feel good. Thank you. *hugs tight*

Also, I want to give a head's up to all my friends who are still feeling down: I'm still here for you, if and when you need me. You know where to find me, I want to share the good stuff with you. And thanks to everyone who stuck around, it means a lot.

Signing out, see you tonight.


Sav.

Promises kept and promises broken

*sigh* Today...today is the day I dread the most every year, for every year it is the same. February 14th, globally dubbed 'Valentine's Day' is the most horrible holiday in the year for me. Why? Because I cannot take part in it.
Not because I think it's an overly-commercialized holiday, which I do, but because I have no reason to celebrate it.

For all my 'hate' for this day, I can say for sure that I would partake if I had someone to accompany me for it. But as we all know, love has never been on my side and this year is no exception.

I promised someone I would not sit at home and be dreary all day like I usually did. So I went to school, ignored the abundance in pink and chocolate-brown, the eye-catching couples kissing like their lives depended on it and the more than usual amount of holding hands going on. Today, I acted neutral. Like I didn't give a crap, which isn't far from the truth actually.

I really don't care anymore. People can do what they want, I'm not bothered anymore. I have more important things to worry about than some silly holiday that is at it's core flawed (not getting into that now).

I have a big assignment due before 21.00, several of my friends are having less than fantastic goings-on and I have a list from here to Tokyo with stuff that has to be taken care of 'immediately'.

So besides this post, I will mention it no further.


Promises, yes...I like those. They're the unofficial test of one's personality and trustworthiness. Breaking a promise is lethal to me. I broke several the past few weeks and it sucks. Of course most people will say 'don't worry, it's okay' but it's really not. I betrayed someone's trust, however small, by not keeping a promise and it's hard to make up for it.

I also made new promises, those I intend to keep. An awesome visit from a friend next week, another visit to someone in a few weeks time, ingame obligations ranging from farming an absurd amount of herbs and fish to attending a raid with friends on a day I kinda can't. But it doesn't matter, for a promise is always a promise, no matter what the end result might be.

Finally, I will leave you with another song from my favorite group Assemblage 23, with the usual depressing title. It's not to be taken literally though, this one is more about the general direction of the lyrics and the flow of the music.