Righteous Anger

Today is filled with anger. Anger at him, anger at her. Anger at myself, anger at everyone around me. Anger at simple objects and anger and everything untouchable.

I've decided to go back to the gym tomorrow and from that day one, every day until the day I need to start my internship. I'm tired of hardly fitting in my pants anymore. Tired of being out of shape, fat even. I used to be in decent shape, when I was still outgoing and active and I didn't sit in front of the computer all day eating shit. I want to be in that kinda shape again, full of energy and happy with my looks. Or at least that part of my looks I have control over. I've long since made peace with the fact my eyesight is shit and, like the rest of the men in my family, I'm balding. At least I look decent with a close shave on top.

One thing I have to be happy about is something insanely stupid: for the first time in about 2 weeks I got a random hard-on. I guess at least some part of my body is happy that it still works. Great source of stress relief as well you know.

This coming week I'll also start putting in more hours at work. Both to occupy my mind and time and to make some money. I could really use more money for all the things I want to do without having to worry about potential horribleness. It'll feel good to see the cash flow in the green again, to build a little buffer for when times get bad financially. I'm also planning to hit a sushibar with my 2 closest-by best friends. Which is a miracle in itself because one of them never ever joins the other and I for our little adventures. I guess they're both really really interested in hearing my story of what happened the past few weeks. Nothing like a bottle of hot sake and a plate of salmon nigiri to discuss matters.

Oh and all hail peppermint tea, the only beverage I seem to hold down at the moment.