.. But Times Change, And So Must I

I'm not there yet, but I know that when this is over I'll be a different person again. If you've seen Doctor Who (and you'd better have!) you can compare it to a regeneration. Still the same person in essence but with subtle changes. I will always remember who and what I was but I will also sail a new course, doing things slightly different and with a different attitude. Right now I'm still 'cooking' though and who knows what kind of leather jacket-wearing, fishfinger and custard-eating, French-murmeling guy I'll turn into!

But for now, I'm more echoing the 10th Doctor in his passing: 'I don't want to go..'




The going is still rough hrm. I don't eat much, I don't feel like doing much outside of keeping busy enough to not overthink, I don't sleep much either and when I wake up I'm still very tired. My mind keeps wandering to bad places, places filled with more pain and thoughts of all the things that might've been or still are. Lamenting all the feelings that've suddenly crept up from inside that should've done so a long time ago and maybe things would've been different..

But someone told me to not think of that anymore, that it doesn't help and that you can't change the past. And I cannot, I'm not a Time Lord after all and if I was my whole life would probably be timelocked anyways.